Do we ever say what we want to say or is it cloaked in formality? Aren’t we prisoners to proprietary, the society and what will everyone say? Isn’t life dictated by a series of do’s and don’ts? Forever as we are growing up we are told to do this, don’t do that as heaven knows what will happen if we go astray from the path set by some old social matriarch. Remember the young innocent game we played when we were kids (yes we were kids too) “sauna jaa chirrhea, uutth jaa chiirrhea“: that is what life and its so called invisible barriers want us to be.
An interesting and at the same time perplexing conversation was being held on FB yesterday where it said that should one tell the truth or lie specifically? Should we sugar-coat the truth so it is gentle or just lie so that it doesn’t hurt the person?
I feel that the lies even if they are small ones hurt the person and then you have to embellish them again and again so that they can be substantiated. It is like sinking into a bog/sink hole and not being able to touch the bottom. Lies even small ones create doubt, suspicion and makes it difficult for one to trust again. When we are young, we want to be lied to shield away the hurt, mask the pain but as we grow older, truth wins hands down. Is it because we get hardened by time? Do we all get a thick skin?
A “honest lie” (term coined by lawyers!) is what is practiced in the society. How many times have you said, “Oh you look beautiful” and not meant a single word of it. All the time you probably are thinking in your mind, couldn’t she have chosen a better dress? What about the meaningless, formality-sake conversation, where one asks how one is? And, the reply is fine. Do you go around telling one the whole Ram-katha of how your life is, you just answer with a blatant white lie. A white lie the stand-by foundation of the society, its just polite to tell a false answer without the audience actually believing it.
We have been taught that honesty is a virtue, it is the tenets of the society. We all want to practice but end up lying gently and lie in one form or in a variation which does not hurt the intended. The words are always said in a gentle way, the intent is what matters. Are your words meant to hurt, educate, love, heal or just undo the person?
This is the real motive. I feel, stringing of words have the power to hurt, wound, supplicate and to move heavens! Are you speaking to further your own agenda, or to further your ego? The level to which your ego is involved indicates how much Satya you want to speak. Honesty in some form can be used as a weapon, so use your words with compassion, love, kindness. Do not maim someone with speaking the truth. Honesty is the best policy, but if you use it brutality it actually defeats the purpose. You then are defeating the intent, by speaking the truth for the sake of speaking truth or for furtherance of ego or wants or desires.
Lines said by William Blake “Auguries of Innocence”:
‘A truth thats told with bad intent,
Beats all the lies you can invent’.